im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
