Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
