What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize