I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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