Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
