Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
