There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
