I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I will pee on everything he values.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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