So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
