remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
