ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
