ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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