I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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