# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
