Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
