yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
