If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
