Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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