I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
