its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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