everyone is single if you try hard enough
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
