I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
