Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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