Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
