I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
