She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
