Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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