is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
