cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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