considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
