So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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