somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
