i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
