Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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