You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I wear drunk well.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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