You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
