So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
