Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
