dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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