I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
