she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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