All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
