in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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