I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
