that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
