i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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