Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
