Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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