Yo dont text me then not text me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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