It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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