White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
