This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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