: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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