we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We need to get me chipped asap
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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